The Last Picture

Oouucchh...


Waaaa....


Careful..


No!!!

Little Johny

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.


Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."


By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?" Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

Children's Strange Thoughts on the Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an azzhole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

Management Stories

Story # 1
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATE

Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd !"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

Pictures,,,,

See?? hEhE...:)

New Year SMS & Prayers

A Prayer For The New Year

God grant us this year a wider view,
So we see others' faults through the eyes of You.
Teach us to judge not with hasty tongue,
Neither the adult ... nor the young.
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Give us patience and grace to endure
And a stronger faith so we feel secure.
Instead of remembering, help us forget
The irritations that caused us to fret.
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Freely forgiving for some offence
And finding each day a rich recompense.
In offering a friendly, helping hand
And trying in all ways to understand;
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That all of us whoever we are ...
Are trying to reach an unreachable star.
For the great and small ... the good and bad,
The young and old ... the sad and glad
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Are asking today; Is life worth living?
The answer is only in, loving and giving.
For only Love can make man kind
And Kindness of Heart brings Peace of Mind.

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By giving love, we can help this year
To lift the clouds of hate and fear

New Year Good Wishes SMS

Years come n go, but this year I specially wish 4 u a double dose of health n happiness topped with loads of good fortune. Have a gr8 year ahead! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
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May this New Year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.
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Hope u'll have a New Year that starts right and ends Happy!
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Nights are Dark but Days are Light,
Wish your Life will always be Bright.
So my Dear don't get Fear
Coz, God Gift us a "BRAND NEW YEAR".
*HAPPY NEW YEAR*
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My wishes for you, Great start for Jan, Love for Feb, Peace for March, No worries for April, Fun for May, Joy for June to Nov, Happiness for Dec, Have a lucky and wonderful 2008
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I wish U to have a .....
Sweetest Sunday,
Marvellous Monday,
Tasty Tuesday,
Wonderful Wednesday,
Thankful Thursday,
Friendly Friday,
Successful Saturday.
Have a great Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR
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I Wish in 2008
God gives You...
12 Month of Happiness,
52 Weeks of Fun,
365 Days Success,
8760 Hours Good Health,
52600 Minutes Good Luck,
3153600 Seconds of Joy...and that's all!
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In 'The Universal Bank of God'...
God stores his blessings & deposited 365 days full of love, faith & happiness for you...
So, Enjoy spending...
Happy New Year.
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A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul, A Joyful Spirit, A Healthy Body & Heart full of Love..All these are my Prayers for You..Wish a Happy New Year 2008.
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Throughout the Coming Year may your life be filled with little celebration of Happiness... Wishes you a Bright, Happy and Prosperous New Year 2008 with God Bless.
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Before the sun sets in this year, before the memories fade, before the networks get jammed.....Wish u and ur family Happy Sparkling New Year 2008.
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New Year begins, let us pray, that it will be a year with new Peace, New Happiness, and abundance of new friends. God bless you through out the new Year.
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Wishing you Happy New Year, May u always keep in ur heart the special beauty and cheer of New Year.
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New Year is the time to unfold new horizons & realize new dreams, to rediscover the strength & faith within u, to rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up 4 a new challenges. Wishin u a truly fulfilling 2008
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When the mid-nite bell rings tonight...
Let it signify new and better things for you,
let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,
Let it signify a year of courage and believes,
Wishing you a very...very. ..very prosperious 2008.
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New Year Fun SMS
New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. Happy New Year!!
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May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
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Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday. Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
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How to make a woman happy?

How to make a woman happy?
It seems not so difficult! You should only be:

1) Father
2) Comrade
3) Lover
4) Brother
5) Friend
6) Owner
7) Teacher
8) Cook
9) Roofer
10) Sanitary engineer
11) Mechanic
12) Decorator
13) Stylist
14) Sexopatologist
15) Gynaecologist
16) Psychologist
17) Psychiatrist
18) Therapist
19) Bold
20) Organizer
21) Good Father
22) Cleanly
23) Friendly
27) Careful
28) Gallant
29) Intelligent
30) Educated
31) with a sense of humor
32) Inventive
33) sporty
34) Strong
35) Understandable
36) Acquiescent
37) Tolerant
38) Lenient
39) Cautious
40) Soft
41) Relaxed
42) Ambitious
43) Decided
44) Reliable
45) Infatuated
46) Polite
47) Very Good Father
48) .....
etc.

not forgetting this:

49) often to say compliments
50) love to engage in shopping
51) no scandals and not to look for problems
52) to be rich
53) do not irritate her
54) do not look at other girls

At the same time, you must:

55) be attentive to her
56) not be jealous
57) get along with her mother
58) find time for her,.. leaving the space for her, worrying about her...

VERY IMPORTANT:

59) Do! Not to forget the dates of:

-Birthday
-First rendezvous
-Betrothal
-Wedding

Unfortunately, even strictly observing all the rules, her happiness ... is not guaranteed, because she can stifle with perfectness of her partner and escape with the first one comes across:
rabble-alcoholic- philanderer

How to make a Man happy?
It seems unrealizable:

1) to cook for him
2) to sleep with him
3) to leave him alone